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| FAIR fa’ your honest sonsie1. face, |
| Great chieftain o’ the puddin’ race! |
| Aboon them a’ ye tak your place, |
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Painch, tripe or thairm:2. |
| Weel are ye worthy of a grace, |
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As lang’s my arm. |
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| The groaning trencher there ye fill, |
| Your hurdies like a distant hill, |
| Your pin*. would help to mend a mill, |
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In time o’ need, |
| While through your pores the dews distil |
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Like amber bead. |
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| His knife see rustic labour dight,3. |
| And cut you up wi’ ready slight. |
| Trenching your gushing entrails bright |
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Like ony ditch ; |
| And then, oh what a glorious sight, |
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Warm-reekin’,4. rich! |
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| Then, horn for horn they stretch and strive. |
| Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive, |
| Till a’ their weel-swalled kytes belyve. |
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Are bent like drums ; |
| Then auld guidmen, maist like to rive,5. |
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Bethankit hums. |
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| Is there that owere his French ragoût, |
| Or olio that wad staw a sow,6. |
| Or fricasse wad mak her spew7. |
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Wi’ perfect scunner,8. |
| Looks down wi’ sneering, scornfu’ view |
| On sic a dinner? |
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| Poor devil! see him owere his trash, |
| As feckless9. as a wither’d rash. |
| His spindle-shank a guid whip-lash |
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His nieve10. a nit: |
| Through bloody flood or field to dash, |
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Oh, how unfit! |
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| But mark the rustic, haggis-fed, |
| The trembling earth resounds his tread, |
| Clap in his walie nieve a blade, |
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He’ll mak it whissle; |
| And legs, and arms, and heads will sned,11. |
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Like taps o’ thrissle. |
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| Ye powers wha mak mankind your care, |
| And dish them out their bill o’ fare. |
| Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware,12. |
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That jaups13. in luggies;14. |
| But, if ye wish her gratefu’ prayer. |
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Gie her a haggis! |
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| 1 Jolly.^ |
2 Small intestines.^ |
3 Wipe.^ |
| 4 Smoking.^ |
5 Burst.^ |
6 Pig. ^ |
| 7 Vomit.^ |
8 Loathing.^ |
9 Pithless.^ |
| 10 Fist.^ |
11 Cut off.^ |
12 Thin stuff.^ |
| 13 Splashes.^ |
14 Wooden dishes.^ |
| * A wooden skewer with which it is lifted out and in to the vessel in which it is cooked.^ |
| Bellies.^ |
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